“To My Friend the Radical Feminist” by Abena A. Asomaning.

What if… what if I want to be dominated by that man? Not that I have been brainwashed or anything, just my own perverted desire.

What if I want to wash and iron his clothes, because it gives me immense pleasure to do this?

What if I want to make him dinner no matter how late and tired I am from work because I just enjoy watching him gobble down my cooking?

What if I don’t ever refuse him sex even when I am beat because pleasuring him does exciting things to me as well?

What if I turn down that job offer or promotion because I want to be around to run my family, monitor my kids and not have someone else or some after-school-hours-child-centre do this for me?

What if I don’t want to pursue a degree, or become a lawyer or a doctor and would rather learn to sew, or cook, or fix hair?

Can’t I have my way just instead of living up to your “ideals” about what a “liberated” woman should be? Isn’t the point of liberation after all the power to make choices without being condemned?

So, thank you for educating me on all the choices out there for me but don’t judge me or worse, pity me, just because I choose to remain this way. It’s my choice to be so and it feels nothing like captivity to me. Don’t mould me into you, let me be me. That’s true liberation.

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