What is normal? I think we know what it is better than anyone. We know because we are those who keep our true selves and call them our other selves buried deep inside. We dig a big hole and we cover it with guilt, shame, rage, societal pressures, the opinions of others and then, finally, we stack and, most definitely, top it all off with a serious dosage of fear. We are so afraid to be anything other than what society has dictated that we should be. Try rising up against the heavy hand of society and their nuclear arms of religion, morality and law would definitely shoot you down. Oh and yes, those weapons have a license to kill. To some, they are the true intentions of their god over all he surveys. To all it is what is good that should be done or what is evil that shouldn’t be even attempted. To others, it is what the law permits.
You chain me with your shackles of disdain, rejection, your ignorance and your unwillingness to even understand me, not to even talk of trying. And worst of it all, you mock me without knowing you hurt me. How could you when my pained expressions, were hidden in a myriad of smiles that could calm a raging storm? How could you? When my tears are stifled and my screams held firmly in my throat. You say to yourself: “I did no such thing!! Whoever could do that surely has no heart and, by all that is right and good, I could never do that, for I am, after all a good person. But even so, who are these people who feel so sad even to the point of depression? Why didn’t they speak up so we would know that they were hurting inside?”
“Who are we?” you asked. I’m the girl you laughed at cause I didn’t have the nicest clothes or know the names of all the cool and chic things that were in vogue. I’m the boy who walked and had the mannerisms of a girl and, for some odd reason, no matter how much I prayed to the heavens to take it away, they didn’t. It’s not like I was wearing scary make-up but I’m the girl whose facial aesthetics you could not accept or appreciate. I’m the woman who spoke when society deemed it not right for me to and the same one who wanted to be given an equal opportunity to be able to succeed just like my male counterpart. I’m the boy who didn’t really like sport and for that I couldn’t really talk to all the cool boys because, really, what could I say? I’m the woman who couldn’t bring forth a child of my own. I’m the child who couldn’t play with all the other children because to them I was defective. They wouldn’t anyway because they thought I might break. The worst of it was when they acted like they might catch my disease just from talking to me. I’m that person who was too big for all of you. I’m the girl who was confident, outstanding and refused to sleep her way to the top. I’m the guy who refused to sleep with any girl or treat them like how a woman must never be treated. I’m the one who was abused by someone who had authority and was in a position that required them to be responsible for me. Simply put, I’m everything i refused to let society tell me to be.
Now you asked us why we didn’t speak. Well the thing is, we did, and do you know what you gave as your response? You called me poor and without class, gay, ugly, bitchy, uncouth, a barren witch, disabled and retarded, fat, too known and full of herself, pussy and a liar. Simply put, we were unacceptable and unfit for your society since we did not wear the apparel you accepted. We wore what we felt in our hearts was right. I guess now you know what you did when we spoke up. We do not fault you. We forgive you.
But today, it is to your hearts, minds and conscience that we plead to for even the slightest bit of understanding. Dear reader, I’m not wearing a blue shirt. Are you?